Feel the safety boundaries.
The words you used was “range”…. “I don’t know what range is”,
Where do people hit range. What is in the environment to help them hit that range.
Roger: Be in an ongoing process to see yourself in coaching and/or facilitation. Self observe! What model are you doing this, how is this occurring for you, with enough clarity to tell someone else what your model is. What are the structural conditions would you want in place to make this a safe process… like asking the person if you can talk to them. The simple process of asking their permission. Range…. The condition of complaint or offense… that something is the way it shouldn’t be… this is the entry point for a change or coaching process. You might enter into this to “fix” it… in a superficial sense. Often we don’t understand the context of why there is a problem… so it is better to inquire.
- By pass
Did we read the Bohm?
If we can suspend the judgment on the other person’s problem… we delay this, and have a reflective moment of inquiry.
Pete engaged Tekuru this morning because she was not happy about the walkathon. He suspended his judgments, and asked questions… engaging her in a practice of range.
Range is when they disengage in the creative process. When they reach range… “because then I can get a Lexus Convertible”… now you are in a position to test your range, or if you will judge them. In a coaching process, you need to be conscious of your own range… if you can never hit range, super!, but if you do… what do you do? One way to understand range is to know your strategy…
What are the preconditions to being in a coaching or facilitation process?... caring. If you find that you don’t care, then it’s not coaching anymore. Then you can pull out.
For them in that moment it IS transforming… The Lexus is Transformative… Transcendental. “Hello! It’s a LEXUS”… they are at range. Now can you extend their range…. But this carries an assumption that their range isn’t in the right place…. It would be better for ME!... it would solve MY complaint about their “wrong” priorities.
If are at range, then the thing to do is BE there… stay there. This is tough – especially when there is multiple range, which is conflict… to just stay there.
Coaching and facilitation is inherently compassionate process. But if you try to get rid of the suffering, then you will likely not be “successful”.
Often times, nonintervention is a powerful coaching technique… the least possible you can do in the coaching/facilitation process is most effective…. But you need a mandate.
A mandate may have consequences… It may just be a backstory… but you have to consider that none of this exists..
HW: Explore Mandate. Look at the places where you’re coaching. What is your mandate? Where is your own range?
Is there an element of power… as if you decide to coach a colleague, now you’re listening to them at arm’s length and this could destroy your colleagiality?...
Roger: my answer to this is transparency. Then you have to determine if your mandate is sufficient to interrupt the conversation to introduce your thoughts transparently. This graphic is just a way to make explicit what is already going on in you… probably inefficienty.
What if someone just taught you now as an adult to brush your teeth for the first time. This would feel weird at first. How do you make this transparency without making it too awkward in a group? What are the boundary conditions to have in place to have a successful c/f model?
“Doing the least amount of possible is best”… This is just about being present.
Roger: if you’re really present, then there is no “other”… most of the things I do distract me from being present.
“Range” means your needs are met…. But Bohm talks about suspension of apparent necessity. This is the fundamental source of suffering – a perceived need not being met.
What are the entry conditions for any intervention.
If I’m to engage in pushing an adaption of capacity building (for instance) it can appear as violent to the people. So can you make a container for this?
Transactional model: knowledge for money… like teaching. This could be suffering. Because it deletes the meaning and value of connectedness.
For Roger, the background conditions of his C/F process … context to serve and be community, is it aspirational?… is that if this is something that they’d be doing anyway… is good (for him). The (normal) money transaction is a byproduct. Can I practice unconditional positive regard?
Karma yoga is about the recognition of obligation with no thought of return… yes, this is impossible… but most of the time, you have this little thing…”what am I going to get”.. you need to be conscious of when you have expectation of return.
Roger: My experience in the check in is suffering because of the system that I have to do something about it…. You ability to be in the apparent present suffering of “others” may exceed your range…. This can also happen with the exceeding happiness of others.
If we’re considering these things, how does this manifest itself in practice?
If someone close to you is in pain, you may not be able to remain within range as you will WANT to “fix” them..
If we engage in a translational coaching, then we are being manipulative behavior? But some things are simply translational.
To what degree are you attached to an implicit or explicit necessarily, and how do you bypass or engage that?...
You are manipulative if you are engaging in an interaction with an understanding that the other doesn’t have.
So Pete realizes that this session has provided him the opportunity to finish his HW!
In coaching (and all other interactions), the structure I would want in place is that my actions (whether transparent or covert) would be consistent with the relationship we both knowingly accept.